Sunday 19 June 2011

droplets

in that may night at gangotri temple people swarmed and bent like bees.
all in the temple chessboard lighting and exchanging sweets. I wonder whether this orange dressed sadhus walking up and down india felt at home, felt at peace in that place or they sensed the call of the road.
Or maybe the road is still to those that live in it.
There was this tall and thin old man . Bespectacled and frail, as if worn down by the wind and the sun. Makes me think of my dad, maybe everybody would think of his dad or how he can be in some few years.
He was sitting below the bell and was putting on again his shoes, they ressembled those espadrillas , no strings.
and he seemed not to manage to put the foot in any of them . So he tries and tries
and other people come by. Some old lady they come and small talk with him and with other bypassers . one  lady offers to help him but he gestures that he can do alone; again he bends his head over his shoes. He seems to manage to slip the first foot in. The second one is more demanding and there he sits on and on trying to get the second shoe on. His legs are so long and he looks like a gigant double legged spider all corners and bends. Another lady, another friend I guess, motherlike offers to help again and again he makes sign all is fine. And he goes on and on. All these ladies trying to help and the humble pride of the old man to manage his feet. (Does he feel alone here below the mountains? is it family to have somebody asking you if you need help? does he feel fragile ? or is it just me that feels so looking at him and thinking of me?)
then he steps up , now he is tall , long , longer and he has his stick to walk on . I do not know whether he managed to slip in his second foot or he let go and preferred to move on with his foot half out. He has already disappeared in the crowd along the ghats, maybe in a very few days from my memories.

 How small we all are... this is immortality...

Monday 6 June 2011

the ganges dip ... is it good to erase the past?

This morning I was deeply appreciating the beauty of rishikesh location in the Ganges bend down below dense hills..
I was walking along the beach spotting few morning people already out to bathe . A very pleasant moment, zith the dry wind and a tasty silence as companions, I was walking between beaches and small mango orchards. I have even met a party of young students playing football, unique event in this land of cricket... quite unique also that the guys were up at seven in the morning...
At the end of this beautiful moment stolen to the busy commercial and bigotry driven Rishikesh I met an italian I had already made acquaintance with in Gangotri...Blah blah blah and then eventually he asks me whether I had bathed in the Ganges. In these moments I , instictively (and quite pleased by that), reply that no I do not have that amount of sins to wash and frankly i did not see the urgency to do so. Of course the first reaction is "are you sure ???'" with a shocked and unbelieving air... Of course I am sure, in perspective i do not think i have such a burden of sins, nor i think that anybody does ... then the guy, feeling the dead end started with another explanation and here we go.
the real wash in the sacred waters aims not at getting rid of the past bad actions but of the past tout court, better the conscience of the past , which is the only key to have a different future and perhaps a better future .
In fact , givent he righteousness of this traveller, the past and the conscience of it , would be the obstacle to the freedom and making the right decisions.
I found myself quite surprised by this research and then started my reflection: is it really a liberation to forget the past?
It is quite original in this era where we accuse relentlessly the power men to let the past go and repeat the same mistakes in history , see how fast is going the memory of the first years of 50s and how fast we are diving again in the same wars.
On the other hand this guy doctrine or thought was that the reasons why the children die and the wars go on is that mankind is the same and does not manage to move on because it is shackled to the past mistakes...
I think that in Strange Days (sorry dear Nanni but i love that movie, i love angela bassett wrestling for life and for love, I love ralph fiennes lost , i love skunk anansie singing 'selling Jesus again') , well in strange days Angela Bassett was accusing Ralph Fiennes not to move on because wanting to live and live again the same memories with Juliette Lewis, she argues that memories fade because they are done as such to let us move on.
A more serious chap,  Pavese used to say that knowing one's mistakes does not help in the least but only allows one to know what mistake he or she will repeat the next time...
Would we better without our past?
I cannot let it go because my past , the part i like and the part i do not like, is what i am and what i lived,. so i guess i do not have enough self renonciation to let go and let myself be part of the ocean.
But then again i personally prefer to think that eventhough we are still individuals, each note, be it out of tune , can be part of the musical ... it is actually the chorality and diversity that makes it fun and you do not have to be all melted together.
I can accept though that i will not make better choices because i remember my past, especially because i cannot be objective about it...
So i do not regret not to have dipped in the ganges . yet ?